She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize