so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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