I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
