i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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