what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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