I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize