I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
