My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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