i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
