so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
