why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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