my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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