3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i believe in u and ur pee
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
