HIV tests are more positive than that guy
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
