i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's rum buckets o'clock
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
