would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
