i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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