So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
