did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
no, he came in my armpit
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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