Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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