i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
