I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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