i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We are two peas in an std pod
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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