Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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