I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
