She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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