To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
