Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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