dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
