I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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