Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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