The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
