Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
