Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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