If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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