what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
