I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
