In the future we'll all be gay
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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