This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
