hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
