ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
