You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
