Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
