if i can run in heels then i can drive
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
