Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
