it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
