we're blogging at a bar
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
