I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
