Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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