Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
