Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
