I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
