so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do vagina's smell?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
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