My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize