Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
