I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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