yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
