i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
