Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
