Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
