just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
