Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
