gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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